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My brother-in-law is kind of obnoxious and annoying. I’d feel bad saying that on the internet, but since it’s true I’m going to go ahead and not feel guilty.
I mean, I’m just being honest, so it’s not like I’m a bad person. If he didn’t want the world to know that he is annoying then he shouldn’t be annoying.
Here’s what’s annoying about him: he is the world’s pickiest eater. He won’t even eat tacos, for the love of Pete. Or barbecue chicken. Or spaghetti. Tell me, who the fluff doesn’t like spaghetti?
He also likes to come barging in our house shouting about treats. As in, “Where are the treats, woman?” or “Don’t you have any cookies, woman?”
Yeah.
I told you he was annoying and obnoxious.
(I’m going to add this part in the parentheses, because everyone knows that boys don’t read what’s written inside parentheses – I actually kind of like him. I mean, only sometimes, of course. But, I just wanted to throw that out there. He’s not all bad. Usually.)
So, the other night we had a get together and I brought along some brownies (recipe will be shared next week, promise) and these delicious Johnny Appleseed Bars. First of all, Johnny Appleseed Bars? You know they’ll taste good just because of the cute name. Second of all, it’s Fall and these are apple bars. Third, the cakey crust is simply amazing.
My brother-in-law took one look at the apple bars and said “What have we got here, woman?” The bars look all innocent and delicious, so he had high hopes.
I cringed a little though, because I knew there was no way he was going to be pleased with fruit in his dessert. I started to tell him the name, but as soon as he heard “apple” he started convulsing and didn’t stop until I pointed him in the direction of the brownies.
Whatever. He’s dumb. Also, he really doesn’t call me “woman” all the time. I mean, he does call me that a lot, but he also sometimes just calls me by name. I can’t wait to hear what he calls me after I post this on the internet!
So, the moral of this story is that apple bars are delicious, the oatmeal cake crust is outrageous, and brothers-in-law are strange.
I snagged this recipe from the fabulous Joanne at Eats Well With Others. Pop over and tell her hi.
Johnny Appleseed Bars
Ingredients
- 2 cups all purpose flour
- 2 teaspoons cinnamon
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
- 3 cups quick cooking rolled oats
- 1 1/3 cup light brown sugar
- 1 cup unsalted butter melted
- 2 large eggs
- 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
- 5 Granny Smith apples
Instructions
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a 9x13 baking dish with parchment. Place the prepared pan in the freezer.
- Stir together the flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Stir in the oats and sugar. In a separate bowl, mix together the melted butter, sugar, eggs, and vanilla. Combine the wet ingredients with the dry and mix until well combined.
- Press half of the dough into the prepared pan. Set aside.
- Roll the remaining dough between two pieces of parchment paper into a 9x13 rectangle. Place in the freezer on a cookie sheet.
- Peel, quarter, and thinly slice the apples. Arrange them over the dough in rows so that each slice slightly overlaps another.
- Remove the rolled dough from the freezer and peel off one layer of parchment. Place the dough on top of the apples and remove the other piece of parchment. Press the dough in to cover the apples.
- Bake for 25 to 30 minutes or until lightly browned and cooked through. Cool in the pan and then cut into squares to serve.
Karly says
Natalie,
He’s off in Vegas celebrating his birthday with my husband and other bro-in-law. I’m sure we’ll get something annoying as soon as he loses all of his poker money. 😉
Karly
Karly says
Donna,
I’m pretty sure he calls me woman in the nicest possible way. I’ll be sure to keep that ex-lax option in mind for the future, though. 😉
Karly
Geni says
I have seen joanne’s post on this as well and both posts look sublime. I think it’s time I actually make these babies. They’re beautiful and delicious looking. And YES, brother-in-laws are weird and annoying sometimes and also a lot of fun…I can tell that is your real opinion here. 🙂 Take care!
donna says
first, i WILL be making these as they look de-vine! 🙂
second, i would take one for the team and smash one in brother in law’s face….just sayin’.
reason: no one…not even my husband calls me “woman” as though i’m a piece of property….unless you wanted to top his with a little chocolate…as in the “smooth” kind like “ex-lax”…just to “smoooooth” things over for with him….just to make HIS a little EX-tra special! lol!
you do things for those you love because you WANT to…not because he (brother in law) can come barging in expecting you to produce something pronto…ya know? but top anything with ex-lax and that’ll produce something pronto! hahahaha! AND teach him a lesson to boot! and when he questions you about it you can then say “now when you can come into MY home and respectfully ASK for something sweet, accept what i have without comment or criticism unless favorable AND without WOMAN before during or after a sentence, then you don’t have to worry about any reprocussions. kapeesh?
at least you’ve had a laugh outta this! (i hope!) 🙂
Joanne says
Ummm yeah…totally his loss! Anyone who doesn’t think apple pie in bar form is the shiznit is crazed. More for you!
I’m so glad you liked these chica! <3
natalie (the sweets life) says
ha I was hoping to find an annoying comment from him on here 😉
Joanne is awesome–no surprise this recipe turned out wonderfully! Yum!!
cherylK says
Looks delicious! Seriously…as soon as I post this comment, I am making this recipe!! Am going to use Honey Crisp Apples, though, because I have a ton of them.
Most brothers-in-law are pretty annoying…it’s in their DNA, I think. But push comes to shove, they’ll be there when you need ’em.
brandi says
do think this is true for all brother-in-laws? mine isn’t annoying, but he’s super picky, too! strange.
Maria says
I am making these asap! Love them!
Heather says
These will be perfect for saturday.
Jeni says
You crack me up! Can’t wait to try these.
shelly (cookies and cups) says
I agree with the fact that brothers in law are strange. I have 4 of them. 4 too many 😉
These bars look amazing!
Deborah says
I have been wanting to try these since seeing them on Joanne’s site. Now I know I REALLY need to try them!!
Debbie says
This post totally cracked me up. I may just have to make these for my daughter’s pre-school class. This is their week to learn about apples. I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure the most important thing to learn about apples is how well they pair with cinnamon, nutmeg & brown sugar.
Sue says
They sure look amazing! Funny post:)