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This is a little uncomfortable for me this morning, but can I get a little real for a minute?
I feel like, for the last year or so, I’ve been holding out on you guys. You know, not exactly being real. Everything is happy and shiny or it’s self deprecating humor. I try to keep things light and entertaining and that’s certainly a good thing. Nobody wants to come and listen to me sob into my Cheerios.
Except, you know what? This last year has been really hard in my world and I miss connecting with you guys on a more real level. I’ve struggled to talk about anything with you other than food, because the one thing that’s been on my mind 90% of the time, is the one thing that I didn’t think I should talk about publicly.
Well, you know what? No.
I mentioned that my husband and I were going to Cedar Point (the roller coaster capital of the world!) for our 15th wedding anniversary and I’m just struggling with not talking more about that. I feel like it’s time.
Going to a roller coaster park for our wedding anniversary seems so weird, except that a) we’re basically just overgrown children and b) last year around Christmas my husband and I were going through some things. Some not great things. Some hey, maybe we should think about divorcing and hey, do we really love each other and hey, is this the life I was meant to live type of things. Yeah. Told ya, I was getting real.
Anyway, every single conversation we had seemed to revolve around roller coasters. Not the fun kind that make you scream in excitement, but the metaphorical kind. The kind where you say, this marriage and this life is like a roller coaster with lots of ups and downs and lately we’ve had a lot of downs and I’m not sure I want to keep riding with you. That kind of roller coaster.
We held on tight though. We toughed it out. (It was hard.) We waited it out. (It didn’t take as long as I thought.) We made some major life changes including moving back home to be near family and changing jobs from one that took up my husband’s whole world to one that is just that: a job. One he kicks butt at while he’s there, but doesn’t seem to bring home with him every night. (It’s glorious.) I started focusing on being more present, because apparently just feeling nice things about someone isn’t the same as saying and doing nice things for someone and maybe that someone starts to question whether or not you’re really feeling those nice things. (I did, I do, I hope I always will.)
I’m not going to say everything is perfect now, but it’s as close as I think it ever can be after all the mistakes we’ve made and the crap we’ve put each other through over the years. We’re good right now. We’re in love. We’re happy. And we’re holding on tight and screaming in excitement as make our way up up up the roller coaster, knowing that when a drop comes we’ll be ready. I feel like we’ve learned, over the past 15 years, how to make it through the drops and the flat parts and the boring parts and the oh my god, let’s just get off this ride parts. I really, really hope so anyway, because I love my husband and I’m really hopeful that we have another 15 or 30 or 45 years together.
Also, my husband is a man and I have no doubt that the significance of going to a roller coaster park right now was completely lost on him. He’s thinking ROLLER COASTERS OMG I LOVE ADRENALINE and I’m thinking, well doesn’t this just sum up our whole life. But, that’s cool. I’m perfectly fine being the only one who gets it. I’m actually quite used to it. (Just kidding, love you, honey!)
Now that I’ve gotten a little too personal with all of you (yes? no? are we still friends?), I’d like to share some food. Carnitas Empanadas, y’all. My husband loves my carnitas and I love empanadas, so these are the perfect little marriage of good things. <—Aren’t I clever?
The empanada dough is super simple to prepare and you really can’t mess it up. That said, you can use a pie crust if you absolutely hate making your own dough.
I filled these with nothing but carnitas, because I love the citrus-y, rich flavor of the pork. You could toss in a bit of cheese if you felt the need.
Carnitas Empanadas with Avocado Crema
Ingredients
- 1 cup water
- 3/4 cup butter 1 1/2 sticks
- 2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
- 2 teaspoons salt
- Pinch of paprika
- 1 1/2-2 cups leftover carnitas
- 1 medium ripe avocado
- 2 tablespoons sour cream
- 1 teaspoon lime juice
Instructions
- Heat the water and butter together over low heat in a medium saucepan until the butter is melted. Allow to cool a few minutes, until cool enough to touch.
- Mix flour, salt, and paprika in a large mixing bowl, making a well in the center. Pour the butter/water mixture into the center of the flour and mix with your hands until you get a wet, oily dough. I did this in my stand mixer with no problems whatsoever.
- Shape dough into a disc, wrap in plastic wrap, and refrigerate for two hours or overnight.
- To assemble to empanadas, break off about 20 golf ball sized balls of dough and roll them out in a thin, flat disc about 5 inches in diameter on a lightly floured surface. Place a couple tablespoons of warmed carnitas in the center of each disc of dough and fold over to make a half moon shape. Press edges firmly to seal them and crimp with a fork or your fingers. Place empanadas on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.
- Bake at 400 degrees for about 15-20 minutes or until golden brown.
- In a food processor or blend, blend together the avocado, sour cream, and lime juice until smooth and creamy. Serve alongside the empanadas for dipping.
Kevin @ Closet Cooking says
I so want these right now!
Jolene says
Thank you for being real. I trust someone who’s real, much easier than someone who only talks about lightweight topics!
And I can’t wait to try these!! Yum!!
Tara says
This was such a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing it with us. (As a side note, I think you might enjoy this article that appeared this past week in the New York Times- http://www.nytimes.com/2015/07/19/fashion/the-wedding-toast-ill-never-give.html?ref=weddings)
Karly says
Thank you, Tara! Off to read that article!
Karly says
Okay, I just had to come back and thank you for sharing that article. It was beautiful and it made me cry and it was exactly what I needed to read. ๐
Johanna says
Thank you for your honesty. It’s hard to share but it’s good to realize that other people have the same exact problems you do. I hope you have a wonderful anniversary. Love your emails and your recipes! Best of luck to you.
Karly says
Thank you!
Liz says
Thank you for putting all of that out there. Marriage is work. What we see people putting on blogs and Facebook isn’t always the reality. Happy Anniversary and keep working on you! We try to keep working on us all the time, too.
Pauline says
HappyAnniversary! The anniversarys after a ride in the roller coaster of life are just the best! You feel good that you survived and still like each other. Ha ha love always but like is complicated. Wink,wink…… We have survived 20 years. We have survived 4 girls who are now women. Lots of friends, boys and driving lessons. Some struggled with bi-polar issues. We had to let go of one so she could get to heaven first at age 20. We had countless job issues, countless critical repairs, a few urgent vet visits and of course the in laws……ugh! 20 years and something’s never change! Tee hee Seems like the roller coaster rides get longer and more frequent now but we ride together. We both lean left and then right as the coaster turns. It gets easier somehow and looking back I wouldn’t change a thing. So make sure you get the Tshirt that says I survived the roller coaster ride! Your hubby will likely wear the shirt proudly and still not get the meaning. Ha ha bless their hearts! None of them have a clue! Love them any way because they are our clueless other half.
I’m going to make these carnitas and I’m sure my hubby will love them too. Have fun!
Karly says
It sounds like you guys have survived some really tough situations. Congrats on 20 years! Thanks for sharing!
Linda says
Oops! First word should be “Bravo!” in above post.
Linda Deming says
Brsvo to your courage and desire to be real. Blessings.
Karly says
thank you!
TaraLee says
I’m on my second marriage (had to upgrade), and we are about to celebrate a milestone anniversary with our 6 kids. Life is one big ride, with thrills, and chills and sometimes things get boring while you’re “waiting in line”, when other things take precedence like work, kids or reno’s (how do people stay happily married during renovations?). I think marriage is one big learning process, and can be really hard, but the rewards are worth it all. Happy Anniversary! And thanks for sharing, it’s good to know we’re not the only people on the ride.
Karly says
Ha! Had to upgrade. Love that! ๐
Carlee says
I’m glad you’re on the upward swing! Going through the day to day with somebody is hard. Especially with busy days, bills to pay, kids to raise, houses to care for and the like. It’s nothing like dating and just getting to have fun!
I could definitely go for a plate of these right now! I have not made empanadas, but will be making these next time I have leftover carnitas.
Annamaria @ Bakewell Junction says
Karly,
Marriage isn’t easy. I don’t know anyone who has a fairytale marriage. Add kids and/or money issues to that and it get exponentially more difficult. I think everyone has some down times and I guess it’s just about how you work through them.
I’ve been dying to make carnitas and this recipe is calling me. Pinned.
Annamaria
megan says
Congrats, gurl! Happy Anniversary!
Anna Banana says
How did you know I just got such a deal on a 10 lb pork shoulder???? And so I have added your carnitas and empanadas to my “high on the hog” menu of green chili and pulled pork.
As to sharing your pain, I love you for that. I hope you decide to be “real” with us more often. Sometimes it helps just to know you’re not alone. I admire your bravery in deciding to hang in. In my case, it was just easier to throw my hands up and be done. Looking back (to the 1970’s), I would have fought harder to keep the marriage working.
And I’ve probably gained 20 lbs. cooking your recipes, so feel free to change it up a little to distract me!!
Jill says
Karly, thank you for being so honest with your readers! My husband and I have been on that same roller coaster for over eight years. It’s challenging to see others’ marriages looking perfect on social media and comparing your own to theirs. I appreciate you being real. Plus, I’m a huge fan of your blog. Wednesdays are my favorite day to get on the computer! ๐
Shawn @ I Wash You Dry says
Empanadas are so fun to make! We love dessert ones the most but I like to make a big batch of them for dinner occasionally. Yum!!