You know how children grow up to be adults and then they blame their parents for their faults? For example, if your mama gave you cough syrup while you were a baby that would explain why you’re addicted to drugs. Or maybe your daddy gave you a time out one time and now you’re an ax murderer and clearly it’s all his fault. Right? People do that. I’m about to do that. Bear with me.

I was a kid once (shocking, right?) and my parents had their work schedules set so that one of them was always home with my brother and me. Sounds nice, right? Well, I’m sure it was lovely and all, but they didn’t plan for one very important thing. Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches.

You see, with one parent always home that meant that one of them was always cooking us meals. How selfish of them, right? My dad tended to grill hamburgers and hot dogs (and cornbread, lots and lots of cornbread) for lunch and my mama liked to make shake ‘n bake pork chops and frozen pizzas (and lima beans, lots and lots of lima beans) for dinner.

Do you see the problem?

There was no room in there for the peanut butter and jelly. Sure, I could have taken it in my school lunches, but by the time I hit school I had never had one and so I stuck with turkey sandwiches, something that did make the lunch/dinner rotation every now and then.

It’s almost like I didn’t even grow up in America, y’all.

I was married to my husband the first time I tried a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. True story. He still makes fun of me for that. He even calls me un-American!

Because I am a loving mother and don’t want to deprive my children of a childhood lunch classic, I make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches quite often. It has nothing at all to do with the fact that they are quick, easy, and cheap. It’s all about making sure my children have a proper American childhood.

And, okay, so they’re quick, easy, and cheap.

I decided to mix it up today and make a real lunch, one where I had to use the stove and everything, and save the PB&J for dessert.

My kids were not one bit disappointed and my husband? Well, I don’t think he’ll call me “un-American” again for a very long time.

Peanut Butter and Jelly Bars
slightly adapted from Ina Garten

• 1/2 pound (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
• 1 1/2 cups sugar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 2 large eggs, room temperature
• 2 cups peanut butter (I used creamy, chunky would be fun, too)
• 3 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt
• 1 1/2 cups raspberry jam or other jam (or more, if you’re a jam lover)
• 2/3 cups salted peanuts, coarsely chopped

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a 9×13 baking dish with parchment paper, grease and flour parchment paper.

In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream together the butter and sugar until light yellow. Beat in vanilla, eggs, and peanut butter on low speed until everything is combined.

In a small bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, and salt. Slowly add the flour mixture to the peanut butter mixture. Mix just until combined.

Spread half of the dough in the bottom of the prepared pan. Spread jam evenly over the top of the dough. Use your hands to make large balls of dough with the remaining half of dough, then flatten them out and place them over the jam. The dough will spread a bit in the oven, so it’s okay if there are bare spots. Sprinkle with the chopped peanuts and bake for 45 minutes.

Cool completely before cutting into squares and serving.

I apologize. This recipe is just ridiculous. Absurd. Outrageous. Preposterous. And, uh, totally incredible.

Okay, I’ll put my thesaurus away now and tell you about this crazy concoction.

First of all, let me just mention that this recipes uses a box mix of brownies. Don’t hate. It all works out in the end. It works out beautifully, in fact.

Alright, now that we’ve got the whole box mix thing out of the way, let’s just get to the good stuff.

The first thing you want to do is unwrap 80 bajillion caramels. Or just cheat and use a jar of caramel ice cream topping. I certainly won’t tell anyone. If you do go the homemade caramel sauce route, just melt the caramels with a bit of evaporated milk over low heat until you get a creamy, thick, delicious sauce.

Next up, you mix up the brownie mix and pour it into a springform pan. The recipe says to wrap the pan in extra strength aluminum foil, but I like to live dangerously. I used regular foil. The world, surprisingly, did not end.

Pour that ooey, gooey caramel sauce over your brownies and run a knife around it to give it a pretty swirl before popping that delicious pan full of magic into the oven.

We aren’t done yet. Far from it. You thought brownie mix and caramel sauce was crazy. You don’t know crazy.

Next we melt some chocolate chips and pour that over the top of the brownie cake. Sprinkle on some nuts. Don’t skimp.

Oh, Lord. Someone send in backup.

Is that…did I…surely not…but, yes! That is more caramel sauce drizzled right on top. Someone save me.

This dessert is seriously just out of this world. It’s rich and chocolately and caramely. It’s divine. And, even though it started out as a box mix, I wouldn’t think twice about serving this to  guests. Heck, I’d even serve it to President Obama. If he ever came to visit. And, hey, it could happen. I’m sure of it. If he doesn’t, maybe the Queen of England will drop by. I’ll have to brush up on my tea-making skills, just in case.

Caramel Pecan Brownie Cake
Recipe from Betty Crocker

• 75 caramels (from two 14 oz. bags)
• 3/4 cup evaporated milk
• 1 box mix fudge brownies (1lb 3oz. box)
• 2/3 cup vegetable oil (I use canola)
• 1/4 cup water
• 3 eggs
• 1 1/2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
• 1 cup finely chopped pecans
• 1 teaspoon vegetable oil (or canola)

Begin by pre-heating the oven to 350 degrees. Wrap outside of 9 inch springform pan with heavy duty foil and spray inside of pan with cooking spray.

In a small saucepan, melt together the caramels and evaporated milk over low heat, stirring frequently. Remove from heat and set aside.

In a mixing bowl, mix together the brownie mix, oil, eggs, and water until well blended. Stir in 1 cup of chocolate chips and 1/2 cup of pecans. Pour mixture into the springform pan. Drizzle the batter with 3/4 cup of caramel sauce. Run a knife through the batter to swirl the caramel throughout. Cover and refrigerate remaining caramel sauce to serve with the cake.

Bake the cake for 1 hour to 1 hour and 10 minutes. The top should spring back when lightly touched in the center.

In a small saucepan, melt together the remaining 1/2 cup of chocolate chips and teaspoon of oil over low heat, stirring constantly. Pour over the pan of warm brownies and spread to cover. Sprinkle with remeaning 1/2 cup of pecans. Allow to cool for 30 minutes and then run a knife around the edges of the cake to loosen in from the pan. Place the cake (still in the pan) in the refrigerator for about 2 hours or until the chocolate is set.

Remove sides of pan and serve cake with warmed caramel sauce drizzled on top.

My husband has a thing for cookies. He considers them breakfast food, you see, so he gets a bit depressed when there aren’t any cookies in the house. Am I trying to starve him? Don’t I know he needs to eat breakfast to stay strong? What do I mean, we have oatmeal and cereal and bacon and eggs and muffins and waffles? WHERE ARE THE COOKIES, WOMAN?

Alright, so actually all he does when he wants cookies is say, in front of me, to himself “Wonder when the last time I had a cookie was?” I get the hint and I bake him some dang cookies.

He’s too cute to refuse.

These cookies, oh these cookies…how do I begin? They are buttery and slightly crunchy while still being chewy and they are filled with delicious black raspberry jam. The dough is so simple, only requiring four ingredients. They are quick to mix up and totally worth the effort of smooshing a finger (or thumb, if you are a dainty little girl with thumbs the size of a push pin) in to the dough and filling it with jam.

Be patient with the dough, though. It takes a bit for the flour to incorporate into the butter and sugar, and if you’re like me you’ll be wanting to add a few spoonfuls of milk to help things along. Don’t do it. Just be patient and the dough will come together.

You’ll want to make these small. The balls of dough should be just a tiny bit bigger than those annoying bouncy balls my kids insist on getting out of the little quarter machines and then bouncing around my house and off of my head. Yes. That size.

I found it easiest to use a wee little spoon to put the jam in the indention. I tried piping it in, but that was not as easy as I had hoped.

These bake up quickly and it’s a bit tough to tell when they are done. You don’t want them to brown, so just watch the edges and as soon as you see a hint of brown, pull them out of the oven.

Drizzle with a bit of powdered sugar glaze, or if you’re feeling particularly naughty, a bit of melted chocolate. I practiced restraint and only used the powdered sugar glaze.

Black Raspberry Thumbprint Cookies
slightly adapted from allrecipes.com

• 1 cup butter, cold
• 2/3 cup white sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 2 cups all purpose flour
• 1/2 cup seedless black raspberry jam
• 1/2 cup powdered sugar
• 3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 – 2 teaspoons milk (as needed)

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.

In the bowl of your mixer, add cold butter, sugar, and vanilla. Beat until well combined. Mix in flour and continue mixing until the dough comes together.

Roll dough into small balls (smaller than a golf ball, a bit bigger than a grape) and press your pinky finger into each ball to make the well for the dough. Fill the wells with the jam.

Place cookies in the refrigerator for 10 minutes to chill. (Do not skip this step or your cookies will spread all over your pan and the jam will leak out and you’ll be scrubbing your baking sheet for an hour. Not that I would know anything about that.)

Bake for 12 minutes or just until the bottoms are browning. Remove from the oven and allow to cool.

Mix together the powdered sugar, vanilla, and as much milk as you need to get the consistency of glaze you prefer. Drizzle over the cooled cookies.

**You could also make these with almond extract as the original recipe stated, but I’m not a big fan of almond extract, so I used vanilla instead.**

I’ve mentioned that we’re in the process of selling our house (Are your fingers crossed for us? Cross them harder, please.) and moving to a new home. I have grand plans for our new home. The kitchen will be full of windows, all light and airy. There will be lots of counter space and cabinets to store all my goodies. The backyard will be large and fenced in, ready for a swimming pool. I even have plans for a garden! (That sound you just heard was my husband groaning…I don’t have the best gardening track record.)

I’ll plant tomatoes, peppers, cilantro, and onions. I’ll call it the salsa garden. I love salsa. I’ll also have an area of the yard set aside for berries. It will be a large area. Very large. Large enough to grow blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, and strawberries. Every berry imaginable! I love berries. Just no dingl…never mind. I’m not even going to finish that thought.

With those berries I will make this delicious cobbler. Today I’m using blackberries. Tomorrow I’ll make it with raspberries. I will not make it with blueberries, because blueberry cobbler is not something I enjoy. Sorry.

There are so many cobbler recipes out there, but this one is it. It’s the winner. It would take home the gold in the National Berry Cobbler Olympic Championship, if only such a thing existed.

Oh, and this cobbler? I baked it in my new cast iron pan. My parents bought it for me for Christmas, but this is the first time I’ve used it. I’m a wee bit scared of cleaning it. I know you aren’t supposed to use soap and water on them, but I just can’t imagine that it gets clean if you don’t scrub it with some Dawn, ya know?

I’m sure this sticky, gooey cobbler will be a breeze to clean up. Right? Please, just agree with me.

Blackberry Cobbler

For the dough:

• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1  1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 9 tablespoons cold butter
• 1/3 cup boiling water

For the filling:

• 2 tablespoons corn starch
• 1/4 cup cold water
• 1 tablespoon lemon juice
• 4 cups fresh blackberries
• 1/2 cup sugar

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

For the dough, mix the flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon in a large mixing bowl. Cut in the butter until you have a coarse, crumbly mixture. Pour in the boiling water and stir together well so that all of the dough is wet. Set aside.

For the berries, dissolve the cornstarch in the cold water in a medium bowl. Add the lemon juice, berries, and sugar. Mix together well. Transfer berries to a 10 inch cast iron pan.

Heat mixture over medium heat until boiling, stirring frequently. Remove from heat.

Drop spoonfuls of dough over the berry mixture and place the cast iron pan on a foil lined cookie sheet and place in the oven. Bake for 20-25 minutes, until the dough is golden brown and the berries are thick and bubbly.

(If you don’t have a cast iron pan, bring to a boil in a sauce pan and bake in a 9×9 baking dish.)

I’ve mentioned that we’re in the process of selling our house (Are your fingers crossed for us? Cross them harder, please.) and moving to a new home. I have grand plans for our new home. The kitchen will be full of windows, all light and airy. There will be lots of counter space and cabinets to store all my goodies. The backyard will be large and fenced in, ready for a swimming pool. I even have plans for a garden! (That sound you just heard was my husband groaning…I don’t have the best gardening track record.)

I’ll plant tomatoes, peppers, cilantro, and onions. I’ll call it the salsa garden. I love salsa. I’ll also have an area of the yard set aside for berries. It will be a large area. Very large. Large enough to grow blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, and strawberries. Every berry imaginable! I love berries. Just no dingl…never mind. I’m not even going to finish that thought.

With those berries I will make this delicious cobbler. Today I’m using blackberries. Tomorrow I’ll make it with raspberries. I will not make it with blueberries, because blueberry cobbler is not something I enjoy. Sorry.

There are so many cobbler recipes out there, but this one is it. It’s the winner. It would take home the gold in the National Berry Cobbler Olympic Championship, if only such a thing existed.

Oh, and this cobbler? I baked it in my new cast iron pan. My parents bought it for me for Christmas, but this is the first time I’ve used it. I’m a wee bit scared of cleaning it. I know you aren’t supposed to use soap and water on them, but I just can’t imagine that it gets clean if you don’t scrub it with some Dawn, ya know?

I’m sure this sticky, gooey cobbler will be a breeze to clean up. Right? Please, just agree with me.

Blackberry Cobbler

For the dough:

• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1  1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 9 tablespoons cold butter
• 1/3 cup boiling water

For the filling:

• 2 tablespoons corn starch
• 1/4 cup cold water
• 1 tablespoon lemon juice
• 4 cups fresh blackberries
• 1/2 cup sugar

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

For the dough, mix the flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon in a large mixing bowl. Cut in the butter until you have a coarse, crumbly mixture. Pour in the boiling water and stir together well so that all of the dough is wet. Set aside.

For the berries, dissolve the cornstarch in the cold water in a medium bowl. Add the lemon juice, berries, and sugar. Mix together well. Transfer berries to a 10 inch cast iron pan.

Heat mixture over medium heat until boiling, stirring frequently. Remove from heat.

Drop spoonfuls of dough over the berry mixture and place the cast iron pan on a foil lined cookie sheet and place in the oven. Bake for 20-25 minutes, until the dough is golden brown and the berries are thick and bubbly.

(If you don’t have a cast iron pan, bring to a boil in a sauce pan and bake in a 9×9 baking dish.)