There are things in this world that most everyone loves and Deviled Eggs and French’s mustard are two of those things.

If you’d like to view my recipe for deviled egg dip and enter a giveaway from French’s, please click HERE.

Someone stop me. I’m on a mission to find the most perfect dip in the world and I’ve been testing dips left and right and oh my. I can’t fit into my jeans anymore.

So far on my quest for the perfect dip I’ve come across two serious contenders. Hot Corn Dip and this Cheesy Gooey Bacon-y Bacon Dip. And, yes, if you speak of this dip, that is what you must call it. Because I said so.

How about I stop blabbering and I start showing you how to make this.

You’re going to need 8 slices of bacon, 1-2 cloves of garlic, 2 green onions, 8 ounces cream cheese, 1/3 cup mayo (NOT Miracle Whip!), 8 ounces cheddar cheese, 4 ounces parmesan cheese, 1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper, and 4 ritz crackers. Oh, and don’t forget the Ritz Chips for dipping. Or tortilla chips. Or crackers. Or a spoon. Whatever.

We’re gonna start with the good stuff. The bacon. Oh, how I love bacon.

Get out eight slices of regular cut bacon and chop it up fairly small. These bacon chunks are going in the dip, so you dont’ want them too big.

Pop ‘em in a large skillet over medium heat. Don’t worry if your pieces of bacon are all stuck together, they’ll break apart as they start to cook.

Let them cook until they are nice and crisp and then drain all the grease, reserving one tablespoon. Transfer the bacon to a paper towel lined plate. Keep your hands off the bacon. Do not eat the bacon. Keep family members and friends away from the bacon.

(Bacon tends to disappear quickly around here.)

I chopped up three cloves of garlic for this and I have to tell you, it was too much. I happen to love garlic and I think two would have been perfect. If you aren’t a garlic lover, I’d stick to just one clove for this recipe. You could also substitute garlic powder if you wanted, but I think fresh garlic would be best.

Cook the garlic in the reserved bacon grease for just a minute until it gets a bit soft and starts smelling all delicious. Don’t burn your garlic. Burnt garlic is a sin.

While your garlic is cooking, chop up two green onions. Yum. I love green onions.

Well, that’s an awful lot of stuff happening in the above picture, isn’t it? Don’t worry. I’ll walk you through it.

Get your room temperature cream cheese (or just nuke it for a minute) and start stirring it up with 1/3 cup of mayo. Dump in the bacon, green onions, garlic and cayenne pepper. Pile on the cheese. Stir it up and pop it in a 300 degree oven for 10 minutes.

Remove from the oven and stir it all up. Watch the cheddar cheese change the whole mixture from white to orange! Freaky!

Crumble 4 ritz crackers right on top and stick it back in the oven for ten more minutes.

Oh, look at that. Orange goo with cracker crumbs on top! It’s much tastier than it looks, I promise. It’s delicious. Scrumptious. Horribly fattening and totally worth it.

I served this warm with Ritz Chips, but I have to tell you, those Ritz Chips are ridiculously expensive. I think this would be just as good on regular potato chips, ritz crackers, tortilla chips or, yes, a spoon. This is also good cold, but I preferred it warm.

Cheesy Gooey Bacon-y Bacon Dip

• 8 slices bacon
• 2 cloves garlic
• 2 green onions
• 8 ounces cream cheese
• 1/3 cup mayo
• 8 ounces cheddar cheese
• 4 ounces parmesan cheese
• 1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper (or more if you like it spicy)
• 4 ritz crackers, crumbled

1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees.  Chop bacon into small pieces and cook over medium heat until crisp. Drain, reserving 1 tablespoon grease. Remove bacon to paper towel lined plate.

2. Dice garlic and add to bacon grease. Cook over low heat for about a minute. Do not allow the garlic to brown.

3. Stir together cream cheese and mayo. Mix well. Stir in bacon, chopped green onions, garlic, cheddar and parmesan cheese, and cayenne pepper.

4. Bake for ten minutes. Remove from oven and stir well. Sprinkle crumbled ritz crackers on top and bake for ten more minutes. Serve warm or cold.

Alright! I did it! I’ve finally got a recipe with VEGETABLES. Don’t worry, though. It’s also got butter, mayo, and a whole gob of cheese. I didn’t get TOO healthy for you. In fact, this dish isn’t, um, healthy at all. Sorry ’bout that.

Anyway, I’m about to share with you my new favorite dip. Hot Corn Dip. Oh my holy heck, is this stuff ever good. I came across this recipe back in August and made it twice within a week. And then I decided that my jeans just couldn’t handle it if I kept on eating it so I put it out of my mind.

I was successful in denying myself this dip for a couple of months, but then my mama asked me to bring chips and dip over and I just knew that I had to make this Hot Corn Dip. My jeans didn’t even mind, because EVERYONE ELSE ATE IT ALL. The jerks.

Alright, enough whining. Let’s make some dip.

Like all good recipes, we’ll start with butter. I have a thing for butter you know. In fact, I was really only supposed to use 1 tablespoon of butter here, but I used two. I told you my jeans didn’t like this dip.

I wonder if I could get a job photographing nothing but butter? That’d be swell.

Now, go ahead and turn your pan on and let the butter melt. See the bottom of that delicious slab of butter? It’s getting melty. I like melty butter.

We’re coming up on the part where I took a big leap of faith and crossed my fingers and hoped and prayed that it would all work out. You see, I’d only ever made Hot Corn Dip with fresh corn cut off the cob. But it’s DECEMBER! And fresh corn on the cob costs an arm and a leg right now! So, I used canned corn. Yes, yes, it’s true. I used can corn. And you know what? I honest to goodness couldn’t taste a bit of difference.

Go ahead and dump your corn (2 cups, canned or fresh) right into the skillet of melted butter. Salt and pepper it and then give it a quick stir. Stand back and smile. You’re making something beautiful.

Let your corn cook over medium-low heat for about 5 minutes. It should just start getting a bit brown. It’ll smell real good, too.Don’t forget to stir it every now and again. Nothing’s worse than burnt corn. Nothing at all.

While your corn is cooking, dice up about a half of a yellow onion. You’ll want about a half of a cup. And while your at it, chop up a quarter of a cup of green onions, a clove of garlic and as much jalapeno pepper as you can handle. I used a red jalapeno because I wanted to add some color. I like color. It tastes yummy.

The original recipe calls for bell pepper as well, but I just can’t handle the bell pepper. I left it out.

Alright now dump your corn into a dish and forget about it. We’ve got bigger fish to fry. And by fish, I mean onions.

But first, can you guess what we need to do before we add the onions to the pan?

More butter! Add another tablespoon or two and let it melt.

Dump the onions in (and the bell pepper if you chose to add it) and, hey, it’s no big deal if there are still a couple of corn kernels floating around your pan. It happens.

Let the onions cook for a couple of minutes until they are nice and soft and brown. Mm, I love nice, soft, brown onions.

After the onions have cooked down a bit, add in the green onions, jalapeno and garlic. Let it cook for just a couple of minutes.

Dump your onions and whatnot into the bowl of corn. Grab a handful of shredded monterey jack cheese and dump that in as well. If your like me, add TWO handfuls of cheese. As they say, if some is good then more is better.

Mm, mm. Now for the good stuff. Stir in 1/4 cup of mayo and a 1/4 teaspoon of cayenne pepper. I like mayo. If butter ever leaves me, I’ll start taking pictures of mayo.

Dump the mixture into a baking dish. I used a one quart pyrex dish. It worked juuuuuust fine.

And, in keeping with the more is better theme, dump a handful or so of shredded cheddar cheese right on top. Yum. Yum yum yum.

Pop it in your 350 degree oven for about 15 minutes.

While your waiting for it to bake, go wash the dishes. You know, the dishes from lunch. And breakfast. And, yeah, even from last night’s dinner. You would have gotten to them earlier, I’m sure if you hadn’t been doing more important things like reading blogs and buying your son a new pair of shoes. (And if you must know, my son only needed new shoes because our 60 some year old neighbor dared him to walk through a rather deep mud puddle. And my son did it. I’m just thankful that there aren’t any bridges nearby.)

Alright, grab that bad boy outta the oven and serve it hot with tortilla chips. Or a spoon. Whatever.

Oh my word. It’s good.

Hot Corn Dip

• 1-2 tablespoons butter
• 2 cups fresh or canned corn
• 1-2 tablespoons butter
• 1/2 cup yellow onion
• 1/4 cup bell pepper (or not)
• 1/4 cup green onions
• 1 jalapeno, diced (I only used 1/2 a jalapeno. I’m a wimp.)
• 1 clove garlic, diced
• 1/4 cup mayo
• 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 1-2 handfuls monterey jack cheese
• 1-2 handfuls cheddar
• salt and pepper, to taste

1. Melt butter in pan.

2. Add corn. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Cook for about 5 minutes, until corn starts to brown, stirring occasionally. Set aside.

3. Melt butter in pan and add onions and bell pepper. Cook for about 2 minutes, until onions are soft.

4. Add in the jalapeno, green onions, and garlic. Cook another two minutes, until softened.

5. Dump jalapeno and onion mixture into the bowl of corn. Add in 1-2 handfuls of monterey jack cheese, mayo, and cayenne pepper. Stir to combine.

6. Spread in a baking dish and cover the top with shredded cheddar cheese.

7. Bake for about 15 minutes, or until warmed through and the top has browned.

8. Serve warm with tortilla chips. Die happy.