Once upon a time there was a little girl who ate Little Debbie Nutty Bars every day for lunch. Yes, of course, she also ate turkey sandwiches and other less sugary things, but the Nutty Bars were the best part according to the girl. The girl had a brother who ate Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pies quite often, but the girl turned her nose up at those cookies and stuck with what she knew…the Nutty Bar. The girl grew up to be a fabulous, amazing, superb woman (What? It’s my story, I can write it how I want.) never having tried the humble Oatmeal Cream Pie.

That’s a (mostly) true story.

I’m a grown woman who has never had an oatmeal cream pie. Now you see why my husband calls me un-American?

I’ll be honest, the Little Debbie packages tempt me. I walk down that aisle at the grocery store and chant “Little Debbie is the debil, Little Debbie is the debil.” It helps. Usually. Sometimes. Okay, so once I bought a box of Ho-Ho’s (I don’t know what they are really called, but I like to call them Ho-Ho’s) and proceeded to eat the whole box in just a few days. I’m not proud of it, but it happened.

Those oatmeal cream pies have always been a mystery though. Surely they must be good, I would think. And, yet, I could never bring myself to taste one.

Today that changed. Today I made my own. I’m kinda depressed that I’ve lived my whole life without these. They are amazing, the delicious hint of cinnamon in the soft, chewy cookie and the sticky, sweet filling is just an awesome combination. I don’t personally know how they compare to the Little Debbie cookies, but my husband grew up eating those things for breakfast and he gave my version two sticky, gooey thumbs up. It’s safe to say that the other woman (Little Debbie) has been eliminated from our relationship for good. Well, for him anyway. I still haven’t made homemade Ho-Ho’s.

Oatmeal Cream Pies
recipe from Honey & Jam

• 1 cup butter, softened
• 3/4 cup brown sugar
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 2 eggs
• 1 1/2 cups flour
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1/4 tsp cinnamon
• 1 tbsp cocoa powder
• 1 1/2 cups quick oats

In the bowl of a mixer, cream together the butter and sugars. Beat in vanilla and the eggs, one at a time until well incorporated. Whisk together the flour, salt, baking soda, cinnamon, cocoa powder, and oats. Beat into the cream mixture. Refrigerate cookie dough for 15 minutes.

Drop about 1 tbsp of dough onto an ungreased cookie sheet and bake at 350 degrees for about 10 minutes. The centers should still be slightly underdone when you remove them from the oven. Cool completely on a wire rack.

Spread about 1 tbsp of cream filling (recipe below) on the bottom of one cookie and then top with another cookie.

Cream Filling

• 1/2 cup vegetable shortening (I imagine butter would work just fine)
• 1 1/2 cups marshmallow cream
• 2 cups powdered sugar
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1-2 tbsp milk, as needed

Cream together the shortening and marshmallow cream. Add the powdered sugar and vanilla, beat well. Thin with milk until you get the right consistency. The mixture should be thick and creamy, but easily spreadable.

I feel like I should slap a warning label on this post. Ready for it?

Warning: These cookies are beyond simple to make, you probably have all of the ingredients in your kitchen right now, and they are addicting like you wouldn’t believe. The saltiness of the potato chips mixes with the sweetness of the chocolate. You will be powerless to resist. Do not make these if you lack self control. Do not make these if you are hungry. Do not make these if you have a mouth. Do not make these. Ever. At all. Unless you want a really yummy treat, but be sure to proceed with caution.

There. Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, let me tell you what I did. I made cookies. With potato chip crumbs in them. I know, I didn’t think they’d be good either, but sometimes a little failure is good for the soul, so I went ahead and tried it anyway. These cookies are definitely not failures. Unless you consider a cookie that begs you to eat 10 of them right in a row a failure. Then yes, these are huge failures.

I feel like the cookie monster over here. Send help.

Potato Chip Cookies
adapted from Taste of Home “Best Summer Desserts”

• 1 cup butter
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
• 3/4 cup packed brown sugar
• 2 eggs
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 2 cups crushed potato chips
• 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

In a large bowl, cream the butter and sugars until light and fluffy. Beat in the eggs. Combine the flour and baking soda and slowly add to the creamed sugars. Mix well. Stir in the potato chips and chocolate chips.

Drop by small spoonfuls onto an ungreased baking sheet. Bake for 10-12 minutes or until golden brown. Cool for 1 minute before removing to a wire rack.

A couple of weeks ago, I decided that I was going to make my Daddy a cherry pie for Father’s Day. And so I did. I’d never made a cherry pie before. I’d never actually done anything at all with fresh cherries before. “How hard can it be?” I thought to myself as I grabbed a couple containers of fresh cherries from the grocery store.

I told my mama my plans and she laughed at me. She told me I was crazy and that the canned stuff would work just fine. She told me that pitting cherries would take forever and be a pain in the butt. She tried to crush my dreams, y’all.

I perservered though. First I went to Wal-Mart to see if they had a cherry pitter (they did not), then I turned to my good buddy the Internet and asked him for help with pitting cherries by hand. There are a lot of methods for pitting cherries by hand, but I just kind of went with the flow and did what seemed to work best for me. I found that using a toothpick to cut the cherry in half worked better than a knife, because it was small and easier for me to hold as I was digging out the pit. I could just reach my thumb in the center of the cherry and pop the pit out without having to stop and set down a knife. The toothpick really worked well for me. All in all, pitting cherries was not that bad of a job.

Also? I was able to declare myself the winner of Father’s Day. After all, I pitted two pounds of cherries. By hand. For my daddy. I win! Best kid ever. Just don’t tell my brother.

This pie was definitely better than the canned stuff, although my only other experience with cherry pie was in 7th grade. I, the super shy nerdy girl, decided to sign myself up for a pie eating contest during some sort of spirit week thing at school. It was me against three boys, hands tied behind our backs, face down in a cherry pie in front of the entire middle school. I came in third place.

I used a Pillsbury pie crust for the bottom (don’t hate) and then sprinkled the top with a delicious crumb topping. Crumb toppings are quite possibly my most favorite invention ever. They make me smile.

Go make someone this pie. They’ll love ya forever.

Sweet Cherry Pie
recipe adapted from Martha Stewart

• 2 pounds Bing cherries, pitted and halved
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 2 tbsp cornstarch
• 2 tbsp fresh lemon juice
• single pie crust (homemade or store bought, I won’t judge you if you don’t judge me)
• 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar
• 8 tbsp butter, cubed