Brace Yourselves, People.

Alright! I did it! I’ve finally got a recipe with VEGETABLES. Don’t worry, though. It’s also got butter, mayo, and a whole gob of cheese. I didn’t get TOO healthy for you. In fact, this dish isn’t, um, healthy at all. Sorry ’bout that.

Anyway, I’m about to share with you my new favorite dip. Hot Corn Dip. Oh my holy heck, is this stuff ever good. I came across this recipe back in August and made it twice within a week. And then I decided that my jeans just couldn’t handle it if I kept on eating it so I put it out of my mind.

I was successful in denying myself this dip for a couple of months, but then my mama asked me to bring chips and dip over and I just knew that I had to make this Hot Corn Dip. My jeans didn’t even mind, because EVERYONE ELSE ATE IT ALL. The jerks.

Alright, enough whining. Let’s make some dip.

Like all good recipes, we’ll start with butter. I have a thing for butter you know. In fact, I was really only supposed to use 1 tablespoon of butter here, but I used two. I told you my jeans didn’t like this dip.

I wonder if I could get a job photographing nothing but butter? That’d be swell.

Now, go ahead and turn your pan on and let the butter melt. See the bottom of that delicious slab of butter? It’s getting melty. I like melty butter.

We’re coming up on the part where I took a big leap of faith and crossed my fingers and hoped and prayed that it would all work out. You see, I’d only ever made Hot Corn Dip with fresh corn cut off the cob. But it’s DECEMBER! And fresh corn on the cob costs an arm and a leg right now! So, I used canned corn. Yes, yes, it’s true. I used can corn. And you know what? I honest to goodness couldn’t taste a bit of difference.

Go ahead and dump your corn (2 cups, canned or fresh) right into the skillet of melted butter. Salt and pepper it and then give it a quick stir. Stand back and smile. You’re making something beautiful.

Let your corn cook over medium-low heat for about 5 minutes. It should just start getting a bit brown. It’ll smell real good, too.Don’t forget to stir it every now and again. Nothing’s worse than burnt corn. Nothing at all.

While your corn is cooking, dice up about a half of a yellow onion. You’ll want about a half of a cup. And while your at it, chop up a quarter of a cup of green onions, a clove of garlic and as much jalapeno pepper as you can handle. I used a red jalapeno because I wanted to add some color. I like color. It tastes yummy.

The original recipe calls for bell pepper as well, but I just can’t handle the bell pepper. I left it out.

Alright now dump your corn into a dish and forget about it. We’ve got bigger fish to fry. And by fish, I mean onions.

But first, can you guess what we need to do before we add the onions to the pan?

More butter! Add another tablespoon or two and let it melt.

Dump the onions in (and the bell pepper if you chose to add it) and, hey, it’s no big deal if there are still a couple of corn kernels floating around your pan. It happens.

Let the onions cook for a couple of minutes until they are nice and soft and brown. Mm, I love nice, soft, brown onions.

After the onions have cooked down a bit, add in the green onions, jalapeno and garlic. Let it cook for just a couple of minutes.

Dump your onions and whatnot into the bowl of corn. Grab a handful of shredded monterey jack cheese and dump that in as well. If your like me, add TWO handfuls of cheese. As they say, if some is good then more is better.

Mm, mm. Now for the good stuff. Stir in 1/4 cup of mayo and a 1/4 teaspoon of cayenne pepper. I like mayo. If butter ever leaves me, I’ll start taking pictures of mayo.

Dump the mixture into a baking dish. I used a one quart pyrex dish. It worked juuuuuust fine.

And, in keeping with the more is better theme, dump a handful or so of shredded cheddar cheese right on top. Yum. Yum yum yum.

Pop it in your 350 degree oven for about 15 minutes.

While your waiting for it to bake, go wash the dishes. You know, the dishes from lunch. And breakfast. And, yeah, even from last night’s dinner. You would have gotten to them earlier, I’m sure if you hadn’t been doing more important things like reading blogs and buying your son a new pair of shoes. (And if you must know, my son only needed new shoes because our 60 some year old neighbor dared him to walk through a rather deep mud puddle. And my son did it. I’m just thankful that there aren’t any bridges nearby.)

Alright, grab that bad boy outta the oven and serve it hot with tortilla chips. Or a spoon. Whatever.

Oh my word. It’s good.

Hot Corn Dip

• 1-2 tablespoons butter
• 2 cups fresh or canned corn
• 1-2 tablespoons butter
• 1/2 cup yellow onion
• 1/4 cup bell pepper (or not)
• 1/4 cup green onions
• 1 jalapeno, diced (I only used 1/2 a jalapeno. I’m a wimp.)
• 1 clove garlic, diced
• 1/4 cup mayo
• 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 1-2 handfuls monterey jack cheese
• 1-2 handfuls cheddar
• salt and pepper, to taste

1. Melt butter in pan.

2. Add corn. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Cook for about 5 minutes, until corn starts to brown, stirring occasionally. Set aside.

3. Melt butter in pan and add onions and bell pepper. Cook for about 2 minutes, until onions are soft.

4. Add in the jalapeno, green onions, and garlic. Cook another two minutes, until softened.

5. Dump jalapeno and onion mixture into the bowl of corn. Add in 1-2 handfuls of monterey jack cheese, mayo, and cayenne pepper. Stir to combine.

6. Spread in a baking dish and cover the top with shredded cheddar cheese.

7. Bake for about 15 minutes, or until warmed through and the top has browned.

8. Serve warm with tortilla chips. Die happy.